26 Weeks

Today I am 26 weeks along. This is the same week that I went into the hospital with PB. I was in D.C. for business for four days--a very fun, but exhausting trip. I love being back there, and truly feel like it's home. It's where I had my first "real" job out of college, where I got my master's degree, where I met my husband. I would move back there in a heartbeat if I ever got the chance. It was great to see my friend Gretchen too in addition to some good work done--the real purpose the trip.

But when I got back home Tuesday night (after a very emotional reunion with PB--who I missed like I couldn't believe)I looked at my ankles and they were puffy; swollen. Just like the were in my last pregnancy. I've been watching them like a hawk since I first saw two lines on the pg stick, but they've always remained bony. Not this time, there was no questioning if they were swollen. They just were. And at that point, I thought, "Oh no, here we go again". I was an emotional mess yesterday, in uncontrollable tears for most of it, flashing back to what had happened with PB and imagining going through it all (and probably worse) again. But somehow I made myself get a grip, and went to the grocery store to take my b/p, which was just fine--a little elevated (probably due to stress) but still well within normal limits. So i relaxed a little bit and regained some composure to make it through the rest of the day...and my ankles started looking better.

This morning I'm happy to report that my bones are sticking out just like normal. There isn't an ounce of swelling to be seen, and my b/p (took it again this moring) is just great. So I'm feeling relieved and greatful and hoping it was just the pressure from the plane, an exhausting trip and walking around in heels for three days. Let's hope ... and pray.

What kills me is my emotional fragility right now. I know it's understandable given what we went through and with pregnancy hormones on top of it, but my God, I can become a mess quite easily... which i'm sure is just great for my b/p.

If my body (and mind!) can just hold on for about 11 more weeks, that's all I ask ...