Wednesday, January 30, 2008

hi

i've been a bad blogger I know. As I've said before, I hate blog lags, so sorry I'm regularly providing them. I've just been busy--with new freelance work, the f'ing cookbook committee, shoping and lunch with a new friend today, new school tours, cleaning my house for my mom's arrival tomorrow, etc., etc. etc. But it's all good...mostly.

Another family got "this" close to buying our house, and now looks like they're not going to go forward. These ups and downs are killing me. And every month, when I have to write out two mortgage checks, I get really depressed. And since it's almost the 1st...you can guess how I'm feeling.

But it's a little tempered, because I know it could be much, much worse. I found out that a friend of mine from Seattle has breast cancer. She just found out. She's a wonderful woman with four children. I used to work with her at a nonprofit when I first moved to the area, and she taught me how to quilt. She's strong, blunt, funny and spiritual; and I think and pray that those things serve her well as she battles this disease.

Finding out about her illness has left me particularly pensive. But at the same time unable to express my emotions very well. My thoughts, however, just won't stop.

So anyway, my mom gets here tomorrow evening, and we're all looking forward to that. She hasn't seen our new house; and PB is just in a great, great place right now. (Okay total aside--he's a HUGE sleeptalker/sleepsinger, etc. For the past week or so, every night he starts counting in his sleep. I'll go up there thinking he's awake, but he's totally asleep. so weird!) My husband and i may even get to go out on a date all by ourself. I seriously can NOT remember the last time that happened. It would be a very nice treat.

So anyway, that's about it. I got in great running over th weekend, and then have done no excercise the rest of the week. I'm hoping tomorrow I might get in at least a quick 3 miler. We'll see.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Testing, Testing

So today Pb had to audition, get tested, evaluated, call it what you will, for a preschool we may want to send him to. I swear I never, ever thought I'd be the mom taking my child to something like this at such a young age. But things change, and I learned long ago to never say never.

Things are different here in Florida--public schools aren't as good for the most part, and we love this school from what we've seen. But we've also heard it's pretty competitive to get in. So we'll see. I've been trying to drill PB all day without appearing to drill him about what went on, what they asked him, etc.

I'm getting very little in the way of answers. Just little snippets like, "I told them my name and they said that was a very beautiful name." Or "I counted to 40 and then stopped." I tried to find out why he stopped there--did he tell him he couldn't go any higher (he can) or did they ask him to stop-- but then he clams up and won't tell me.

Who knows? When we went to pick him up, they said he did "great," which is what I think they said to all the parents--meaning great, having fun, etc. No feedback at all on the rest.

I think he got some bonus points for sociability though because right when we were leaving, in front of a couple of the big administrators, this little girl yelled to PB and opened up her arms to him. He ran into them and hugged her. It was so cute, and there were lots of ooos and ahs. This was especially nice to see as he's been on a big boys-are-the-best kick. Our conversation yesterday went something like this:

PB: mommy I wish you were a boy
Me: Why?
PB: Because boys are better.

Anyway, the hug was good. Hope they wrote that down. So now we wait and within two weeks we should know that either a) we're in; b) we're on the wait list; or c) that we're not getting in. Really, whatever the outcome is is fine with us. There are plenty of other options. But if our outcome is C I sure hope they tell us what they base it on, because man am I dying to know what went on today!!!

More probing tomorrow. Perhaps a day later he'll cough up more.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Bowling

Today PB and I met a friend of his for a some bowling. It was the fist time he's ever bowled, and it was really fun. The ball was pretty heavy for him, and since when I tried to help him, I made him fall backward onto his head, they got out some help.

They had this crazy metal ramp thing that he could put the ball on, and then push it down. If you have spent much time in bowling alleys, perhaps you've seen one? And there were these bars in the gutters, so no gutter balls. At least not for him...

Me on the other hand, lot of gutters. I'm I'm horrible and didn't break 80, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless. And I'm thinking perhaps it counts as a workout?

I hope so, because not only did I have pizza at the bowling alley, a I also had pizza for dinner. I'm such a peer pressure eater. My neighbor and her two sons came over in the afternoon. We ended up having a glass of vino while the boys played and soon realized it was passing dinnertime. Since my husband had a working dinner and hers was out of town, we called for pizza and fed the kids and ourselves. So I probably need to do another workout tomorrow--perhaps something a little more strenuous than bowling. But I'm thinking I may be sore from the bowling tomorrow!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

For the Record

I rarely edit, proof or even spellcheck my blog.

I like it that way, even though I'm a total grammar and punctuation freak.( I once lobbyed a grocery store for weeks to put up an apostrophe in their HUGE sign that read, "Its (sic) Our Pleasure to Serve You." And they finally did! )

But here at my pad in the blogosphere, I come, I let my thoughts flow and dont worry much about mispelings; or bad punctuation or run on sentences, or too, many, commas, that leave people wanting to catch their breath or something like that.

So while I stated that this would be my rules (or lacktherof) when I started this blog, I haven't mentioned it in awhile. So some of you might just think I'm ignorant and want to scream as you read my imperfect prose. But rest assured I'm not stupid, just lazy...when I'm here in this little corner of my life.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Remind Me

If I ever want to be the chair of a committee again, please tell me to run.

Remind me just how much work it was to chair the preschool cookbook committee.

Next time I'll just be "on" the committee. I don't need to be in charge (keep repeating to self).

Back to the book...

Monday, January 21, 2008

dilemma

I'm in the middle of such a cliche woman's situation it's not even funny. I got a great job offer, but I don't want to leave my son, not for a full-time, in-the-office job. Should I be able to do it part-time, telecommute, work part-time or have an extremely flexible schedule? Absolutely. could i do an incredible job that way? No question. Will they let me? It's doubtful. And it makes me mad--not just about this particular situation, but the situation for women everywhere.


Businesses really should take advantage of all the very talented, brain-bored mothers out there who would love to work in some capacity. I talk to them all the time--women who had amazing careers, and would love to work a little, but can't do a traditional 40-hour job in an office. If businesses were just a bit more flexible they would get such great product, input, work and dedication. but they're scared to break the mold. Good Lord, what would it do to their head count.


I've been lucky doing freelance for a number of years; and more has and will continue to come my way. But I should be able to do more. And I would do so much more. Pay me for 20 hours, you surely will get 30 or more in return. Because I'm hungry, and frankly, I'm good at what I do. I want to work, but I don't need to do it from 9-5 in a cubicle to produce results. My brain needs some stimulation. My mortgages (PLURAL) need paying.


But most of all I love my son, and I think now he needs me. He's not going to need me as much in coming years. And in coming years, my windows for work will open wider and wider. But for now, I'm keeping them shut a bit. And it's my choice. But the whole thing still makes me angry.


I will go into more detail later. But for now I just need to vent.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Back

After about a week's hiatus due to my injury and then my sister's visit, I finally ran again today. Six miles in very brisk, but sunny weather. After about three miles, one of my toes was in pain, so I quickly took off my shoe to see what was going on--it was being cut by the toenail of my little toe. So I ripped the offending nail off and proceeded on my run pain free. I've got to break through this six mile limit I've somehow set and find a new, longer route. I'm also renewing my efforts to look for some local races. I think I a 10k will be next for me.

Of course today's run will do little to counter all the crappy food I ate at the theme parks. Seriously--did you know that one of those mickey ice creams on a stick have 330 calories and 22 grams of fat?! That's just gross. And really, not so worth it. I don't even want to know that stats on the pizza, chicken fingers, etc. Blah.

Last night I saw a movie for the first time in eons. We went to "Juno". I wanted to love it and to cry and be moved. It was good, and I liked it. But it didn't make me cry. And really, all that Gilmore-Girl-like bantering just doesn't do a lot for me. But there was a lot I liked about it too, so overall I'd give it a thumb's up.

That's about it. I'm exhausted from the long week and lack of sleep. We're sad my sister left--especially PB who utterly and totally adores her. But really looking forward to tomorrow because my husband has the day off for MLK day. woo hoo!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Checking In

This week is whizzing by wonderfully (I love alliteration!).
I can't believe my sister actually got out of Boston they day she, but she did. And on time too.
We've been having a great time. My husband is out of town, so all the movies I wanted to see won't happen as we have PB, but we're having fun nonetheless. And American Idol started last night--hooray.

We've been shopping, cooking, eating. And PB is in heaven. He adores his aunt and wants her up the instant he gets up. Today he told her she should get up when the sun does. Since she just finished law school finals I'm trying to keep him away for a few minutes at least.

The one who's really missing sleep is me. I'm a bit spoiled as my husband usually gets up every morning with PB, feeds him breakfast and gets him dressed for school while I sleep in and get ready leisurely. With him out of town, it's all me. I miss him so much!

Friday we're going to hit a Disney park, not sure which one yet. And Saturday, we're going to Universal. So lots of fun. I'm trying to catch up on reading blogs when I can, and thought I'd do a check in here.

I'm hoping to get in a decent run this afternoon while PB and his aunt play, but it's looking like rain. We'll see.

More when I can. Hope you're all having a great week!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Weekend Wrap

it was a good weekend. a weekend with virtually no stress, no major plans, just kind of a gentle unfolding. and those are good.

my hair turned out fine. actually it turned out great when I left the salon. But when I tried to do it today, not so much. And I know that's a common thing for women, but it's not for me. Usually it's exactly the opposite. They do it, and I know I'll style it better. So I'm not sure what that means, but today my hair looked like crap--no matter what I do. I don't look like myself at all. It's weird. She took a ton off, I have bangs, it's really choppy. I think in two or three weeks I'll love it. for now I'm not sure. I think I'll go back to her again, but I'm not 100 percent. But since we moved this was definitely the overall best salon experience.

Today was the big private school tour. It's a great school, and PB behaved very well (It could be the bribe of a new train we promised, but who knows...). I think it would be good for PB, and PB would love it. It's a great mix of academics and personal development--everything from manners classes, swiming, Spanish lessons and fencing options to a huge preschool formal event--the lakeside wedding of the letters "Q" and "U" complete with a catered reception. I'm serious.

I've heard so many opinions of this school--very well known in this area--both good and bad. But as someone recently told me, "everyone who goes there loves it; and everyone else badmouths it." And I get that. I have a really good feeling based on today, the tour I had and the experiences of some people I know who go there. And I have to go on my gut feelings. I don't know yet if it's the best solution for our family, but it's definitely a wonderful one. We go back in two weeks for his "assessment". We'll see how that goes. Depending on his mood that day, it may not even be an option :)

My sister is supposed to arrive tomorrow and is staying for a week. We're hoping the forecasted blizzard is Boston won't postpone her trip! We're excited to show her our new home and some of the Disney resorts. PB, of course, thinks she is coming to be his full-time playmate.

Here's to a good week, and an offer coming in on our house!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Happy Friday

This week has flown by. I worked three mornings at my friend's boutique and had a follow up job interview the other day. This morning we had one of PB's friends from preschool over for a play date. It was really nice chatting with his mom; and the boys had so much fun together. Then this afternoon I stepped outside to get the mail, saw a neighbor who invited PB and I over for a happy hour play date, complete with a bottle of chardonnay and a couple of other neighbors. I'm telling you, we picked the perfect neighborhood. They're all really nice and fun and had tons of great information about all the schools around here, etc.


Tomorrow I'm having a me day. When I was working, I had them almost every week because I needed them. I had PB all day, then worked most of the night writing. Since we've moved and I've just had PB to focus on--and he's in school the majority of the day--I've had tons of me days. So I've forfeited my weekend ones.

But I've picked up more work and gradually life is getting back to a hectic pace. So I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My husband is taking PB to his parents' house where they will spend the day and come back right before bedtime. I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted--it's so far overdue it's pathetic. Remember when I went back to Seattle to pack up our house? Yeah, well it was before that! So I'll do that, perhaps pretend shop a little bit, go to the gym and maybe even see a movie. We'll see.

On Sunday we have an open house for a private school we're considering for PB. I'm predicting that day will be full of stories.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

A Different Type of Trip

It started out as a nice morning. I had an appointment first thing in the morning, then headed home to get in a run in the glorious weather. I got dressed, grabbed by ipod and headed out. Around about 1.5 miles I tripped over something (perhaps just my own feet) and went flying.

The palms of my hands were burning, my knee bloody and throbbing, and then there was my ankle--a nice, dull ache. I surveyed the damage, managed to get up, and after I walked about half a mile, I figured I was good to continue running home. I still felt fine when I got home, so I ran around my neighborhood for another mile or so. I think that was my mistake.

After my shower, I was limping. When I went to pick up PB from preschool, I could barely hobble. My ankle is now throbbing. It's not swollen, and I can move it, so I'm taking those as good signs. But Lord it hurts! What really makes me mad is that I had a long run planned for tomorrow, and now I wont' be able to do it. Ugh.

So now I have the remaining scars from my golf cart accident ; a huge scrape from a deck I fell off in Telluride; and a knee that is red, bloody and scabby. I could compete with any 8-year-old boy for the most banged-up looking legs. And to make it worse, I can't shave over all the scabs, so there are patches that have hair spurting from amidst the scabs. See I would beat those 8-year-old boys actually.

I'm telling you me in a skirt or a dress is a pretty sight these days.

So anyway, I'm hoping that my ankle will just get better. I really don't want to go to the doctor. I'm going to see what happens over night. Hopefully a miraculous recovery!

Monday, January 7, 2008

nothing to say

I really don' t have much to say. But I feel I should say something, because I pledged long ago that if I was going to have a blog, I would not have blog lags. I hate blog lags. But now I understand them better.

Sometimes I have a zillion things I want to say and write about and regret that I don't have the time to. Other times I have all the time in the world, but I can't commit to one topic. Too often I get into the habit of just treating this like my daily diary, but that's not all that conducive to improving my writing or even keeping it sharp. And I'm sure it's not highly entertaining to read. But it's therapeutic, so that counts for something.

And I guess I could really use some therapy today. Every aspect of my life is really quite great,. I sailed through most of the day so happy--i worked at my friend's boutique, which I love doing; saw all our preschool friends with our first day back to school; got a couple of late Christmas gifts in the mail; had a playdate with a new neighbhor and thier 4 year old son. All good. Except the fact that our Seattle-area house STILL sits on the market. And it's 2008.

Two sets of bills, two mortgages, two sets of home improvement costs; two things that are very difficult to afford on one income. And I shouldn't complain, because we are able to do it. We're draining our savings in the process, but I know I should feel very fortunate that we can do it. Because as I posted yesterday, there are many people worse off. And I could still be sitting my ass in an apartment with plates that spark in a microwave. So yes, I'm thankful too.

But for me, money is security. I grew up without a lot of it. And I like to have much more than that. I don't like chipping away at that security net. And month after month our net is getting smaller. And I hate it. It makes me nervous. It makes me obsessive. And I shouldn't be. We're fine. But we worked hard to have some security, and it's going to take so long to build it back up.

So while I do my best to count our blessings, and I do, I really do; at the end of the day I can't get this huge white elephant out of my mind--out of my life. We've been patient. We've believed everyting happens for a reason. We've said our prayers. We've been pretty damn (I mean darn) good people. It's our turn. This house has GOT to sell. We're dropping price again this week. It's depressing. But if it sells our house, then so be it. I'm ready to move on with our lives.

So see, this post is nothing you haven't read about from me a zillion times. But at least it's not a lag, right? And I feel a little bit better.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Conversation at the Park

Me: PB be careful, don't get too close to that girl or you will push her off that wall.

Girl: Yeah, be careful. We don't have any health insurance.

If ever there was a political commercial to be made, there you go. She couldn't have been more than 7.

Friday, January 4, 2008

update

I feel like i have both so much and so little to say.
PB has been out of school all week, and since we returned from our trip we've had three days with pretty much no schedule. While at first I feared all these empty days and thought I'd go about scheduling them, I didn't. I just kind of let them unravel.
And after the crazy past few weeks I've had, it was a nice way to go.
We've gone to Costco a couple of times (have I blogged yet about my newfound love for this place? if not, remind me and I will). We've played games, he's played by himself, we've played with neighbors, we've watched videos and just hung out.
Yesterday, I called my husband right about noon and asked what he was doing for lunch. he said "nothing" so I suggested he come home for lunch so i could go for a quick run. In exchange for a homemade grilled cheese lunch, he did.
It was the first time in a week I'd run, and it was actually great. Only about 3 miles, but nice and got me hungry for more.
Then today, we had two families coming over for dinner and some big football game around 4 p.m. I had a bunch of food to cook, but in my typical Type-A way, I realized I was way ahead of schedule. So in very un-typical-for-me mode, I decided to put the cleaning and cooking on hold and instead go for another run in the gorgeous 70-ish weather. I thought I'd just do three, but instead, I got in 6 really good miles today. Besides the blisters on my feet that were sprouting ( I think I need new running socks) it was a great run.
And even with the break, tonight's dinner still turned out great. I swear Florida is really relaxing me! I made some new recipes, including an olive bread that was out of this world courtesy of http://carrisablog.com/carrisa/--and I don't even like olives. (Let me know if you do, and I'll pass along the recipe or you can look it up on her site.) I also made one of my favorite, old pasta recipes and a great sausage and peppers dish. That plus wine and mixed drinks, a Cesar salad, some homemade caramelized onion dip and another great appetizer with bacon, cream cheese, etc. and we had a great meal. Another family brought cookies and ice cream, and we were, and are, all full.
Not much is on the docket for tomorrow. Just a few errands and a lot of rest. Not sure my legs are going to be up for another run, but you never know.
Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Crazy Trip--part two

I should first say that once we got to Telluride, we had a fabulous time. We hung out with my husband's brother and his family. They are wonderful, generous hosts and have a gorgeous place there with gorgeous views of the mountains out every window. They have four children who PB adores and spent ever single second he could with.

It was cold, but wonderfully relaxing. I slept in and read a lot--I got through "The Tattooed Girl" by Joyce Carol Oates, which I loved. Of course, I always love her. And almost finished with "A Fine Balance" by Rohinton Mistry. It's great too. Different than books I typically like, but really well done.

On the second night we were there we went to a restaurant, and who do I see sitting at a table less than 20 feet from me?

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Suri and a bunch of their family!!! I was so starstruck! I positioned myself so I could watch them throughout the whole meal. Of course, when I tried to take a picture in the lobby as they were leaving, I was told I would be asked to leave if I did so. Why I didn't just leave and catch them as they were doing so, I'm not sure. My husband caught a couple on his cell phone (no flash), but they're not that good. Oh well, it made my trip.

Then no sooner had we arrived, was it time to leave. We got to the Telluride airport in plenty of time. They were concerned that if there was any delay we wouldn't make our connection in Denver, so they booked us on a backup flight. We were feeling really good about our return home.

THEN, we got on the plane. It was, without a doubt, the worst, scariest, most horrifying thing I've ever done (with the exception of PB's extremely premature birth). Now, I knew it was going to be bumpy going out over those mountains, but this was more like being shaken angrily by a huge monster holding the plane in his hand.

And not only was it bumpy, but alarms started going off--TWICE. why? no clue. There were only 12 of us on this little prop plane, no airline attendants, just us and alarms and bumps. The boy behind me threw up, I was screaming and crying. I really thought we might die.

Thank God PB slept through the whole thing, because I would have freaked him out as he was across the aisle from me. How he slept through the whole thing I have NO idea. But so glad he did.

We finally landed, and I was a mess emotionally, still crying, could barely walk. I knew we missed our original flight, but figured that was for the best as I needed some time (and wine!) to prepare for the final leg of our journey back to Orlando.

Well, I got plenty of time. Remember how they booked us on a backup flight? Yeah, well when we got there, they had NO record of our reservation. That's right, for the THIRD time on this trip Great Lakes lost our reservation. How that's possible, I have no idea.

The only option was to sit at the airport for eight hours then take a red eye. We were so tired at that point that we just gave up. We found a nearby Embassy Suites, made sure we were there in time for the free happy hour, and added another day to the already marathon trip.

We finally got home around 6 p.m. last night.

I can say without a doubt that this trip was unforgettable. And I have no desire to get on a plane anytime soon.