Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Hypochondriac? Maybe

What would you do if all of a sudden you saw colorful lights in the shape of hexagons dancing around in front of your face, and you weren't taking any hallucinogenic drugs? What if they didn't go away for like 10 minuets, and you've never experienced anything like it before?

Well, after checking online for symptoms of stroke, heart attack and a number of other big ones, I decided I did not need to call 911. Instead,I called a local eye doctor and begged them to see me for an emergency appointment, then called my husband and told him he needed to come home from work.

By the time he got home, the lights had disappeared, and a huge headache was building behind my right eye. I was really nervous about what the doctor would find--a torn retina? Some horrible eye disease? an aneurysm?--my mind seriously goes wild in these situations, which I know does not help the situation. Then I stress about the stress and the damage it's doing to my body. I know, I know. Did you read the title of this post?

Anyway, after a slew of exams, drops and me reading letters, the doctor said I have extremely healthy eyes, 20/20 vision, not even the need for some reading glasses.

So why the lights? Probably a migraine, she decided.

I've never in my life had a migraine. She asked if I was under stress. I just laughed. So I guess that's what it was/still kind of is. There is still a dull ache in my head, which I'm sure would dissipate greatly if I put down the laptop.

I feel stupid for panicking over this, but it really was scary. While I worry a lot about my health, I rarely actually go to a doctor except for a checkup each year. I've got to feel it's pretty serious for me to actually make the call. And geez if a spontaneous light show before my eyes doesn't seem serious, I don't know what does.

Most of my life I've been blessedly healthy and felt very in tune with my body. I trusted it. My terrifying bout with preeclampsia, however, changed that. I felt betrayed; and I haven't fully trusted my body ever sense. I'm not sure when or if I ever will. Hopefully, over time...

So anyway, that was my day today. My poor husband is still at work, because I pulled him away from his project and he had to go back and finish up. I feel bad for the false alarm, but also glad to have had a thorough eye exam, which I've never had in my entire life--weird, huh?

There was a bright spot in the day, however. During my appointment, which lasted about 1.5 hours, PB and my husband played in the waiting room. As we were leaving, one of the receptionists, said, "Your son is so well behaved."

I don't get that one very often (um, actually not sure I've ever gotten that), so it made my day, and I need to immortalize it here.


redheadmomma said...

That would have scared me too. I have flashes in my eyes like twice a year that keep me from concentrating on anything, and they worry me too, but then they go away. Can you sign up for a yoga class or do something that is just to relax your mind? This house-not-selling-business has to be weighing so heavily on your mind.

p.s. thank you for the thoughts about proclub. I feel scarred because summer before last, I dropped off N & M to do errands, and found out that M was crying the entire time but they didn't CALL me, and N was such a problem that they told me they'd only watch him if he would have a one on one person to the tune of $16.50 an hour (current price). I was just generally pissed, and wanted to leave Maya only if I was in the building and could get back quickly. She doesn't like the place that much, but you know, I should try it if I'm really in a jam. Thanks for the thoughts. :)

Secretmom said...

RM--Yoga is a great idea. I've been meaning to go to a class at my gym, but always chose cardio instead. I figure until I lose my weight, that's what I need. Obviously, my body must feel differntly. Thanks!

Swishy said...

I get migraines sometimes and they are mis-er-able! I hope the day is going better :)

Manic Mom said...


Second, this line was too funny for me: "There was a bright spot in the day, however." Because you had already a BRIGHT SPOT when you were seeing the lights thing!

I have had that happen before, where it looks like a ferris wheel at night is on and spinning and it was just in the far back corner of my eye.

I say GREAT for you for being proactive on your health when something's not right. Too many people dismiss symptoms that could lead to something more serious so it's good you went and got it checked out. I hope you don't get any more migraines. They suck!