28 Week Ultrasound

A big sigh of relief ... and only tears of joy after today's ultrasound. Baby is measuring 28 1/2 weeks, and I just turned 28 weeks today. She's in the 55th percentile and everything looks good. My blood pressure was even quite good today and I was at the hospital in the high risk part, so go figure, you'd think that would stress me out more... They estimate that she currently weighs 2 pounds, 10 ounces, which is almost a full pound bigger than PB when he was born (which would have been yesterday in terms of where I am gestationally in this pg). Crazy to think about.

So, so far, so good! We'll just hope and pray that all continues to go well, and Redheaded Momma, I may just put up a few of those signs!

We have SO MUCH TO DO to get ready for this little girl!!! Her room isn't even painted. Oh well, it will all happen, it always does. I did, FINALLY, pick out bedding. Do you know that Restoration Hardware now has kids' furnishing and nursery bedding, even clothes--like a pottery barn kids kind of. Anyway, really cute stuff and I ordered some from there. Of course, I don't use bumpers, so it's really just a crib skirt and fitted sheets, but it's cute nonetheless... oh, actually, let me try to post a picture:




Halloween tomorrow--one big, sugar-induced tantrum waiting to happen with parties and trick or treating galore that pretty much goes from the minute PB wakes up!

ups and downs

this week has been exhausting and good and scary...then rinse and repeat. mostly it's been good--saw an old friend, pb's in a good place, I've felt pretty good for the most part, though more tired than I had been.

then i had my dr. appt. yesterday and it all fell apart--my blood pressure was up to the highest level it has been, and I just lost it ... AGAIN. I think I freaked my doctor out though he hasn't suggested therapy ... yet, suprisingly. everything else looks good, so i'm trying to focus on that--can I tell you how many times a day I examine my ankles for swelling?. The crazy thing is that when i took my bp myself at my gym a couple of hours after the dr.--it was back to down to where it's been--at least 15 points lower than the dr. office. so i know i'm stressing myself out and of course stress about that. So i'm trying to focus on the fact that this is all out of MY hands. All I can do is take care of myself and get rest, etc. but really other than that and being vigilant (which is totally stressful for me)there's NOTHING I can do. So that's that. Maybe once I get past the point in this pg when PB was born (next week), I'll feel more relieved...I don't know. I do have another ultrasound next week, which I pray shows the baby is still growing great. If it does, that will do a lot to reassure me too. If only I could just relax and enjoy all of this...

I am looking forward to this weekend. a little shopping tomorrow, then meeting a friend for dinner and a movie. do you have any idea how long it has been since I saw a movie?! sunday we have a picnic for PB's school, which should be fun. I also have a stack of magazines up to my neck and a book I'm dying to read (Julia Glass's new one!) so I'm going to make time for those as well. ... and, of course, a little work. because all play and no work makes me ... even more stressed out come Monday :) have a great weekend!

26 Weeks

Today I am 26 weeks along. This is the same week that I went into the hospital with PB. I was in D.C. for business for four days--a very fun, but exhausting trip. I love being back there, and truly feel like it's home. It's where I had my first "real" job out of college, where I got my master's degree, where I met my husband. I would move back there in a heartbeat if I ever got the chance. It was great to see my friend Gretchen too in addition to some good work done--the real purpose the trip.

But when I got back home Tuesday night (after a very emotional reunion with PB--who I missed like I couldn't believe)I looked at my ankles and they were puffy; swollen. Just like the were in my last pregnancy. I've been watching them like a hawk since I first saw two lines on the pg stick, but they've always remained bony. Not this time, there was no questioning if they were swollen. They just were. And at that point, I thought, "Oh no, here we go again". I was an emotional mess yesterday, in uncontrollable tears for most of it, flashing back to what had happened with PB and imagining going through it all (and probably worse) again. But somehow I made myself get a grip, and went to the grocery store to take my b/p, which was just fine--a little elevated (probably due to stress) but still well within normal limits. So i relaxed a little bit and regained some composure to make it through the rest of the day...and my ankles started looking better.

This morning I'm happy to report that my bones are sticking out just like normal. There isn't an ounce of swelling to be seen, and my b/p (took it again this moring) is just great. So I'm feeling relieved and greatful and hoping it was just the pressure from the plane, an exhausting trip and walking around in heels for three days. Let's hope ... and pray.

What kills me is my emotional fragility right now. I know it's understandable given what we went through and with pregnancy hormones on top of it, but my God, I can become a mess quite easily... which i'm sure is just great for my b/p.

If my body (and mind!) can just hold on for about 11 more weeks, that's all I ask ...

I Need Kisses!

This is what PB was yelling in the middle of the night. I woke up at 2:37 a.m. to hear him shouting over and over again, "mommy, I need some kisses! mommy, I really need your kisses." I thought perhaps it was a dream, but when I went up there he seemed fully awake. I gave him some kisses, a drink of water and didn't hear from again until morning.

I don't ever particularly like to be woken up in the middle of the night, but if I'm going to be, this is sure a sweet way for it to happen :)

In other news, this little girl has begun to kick and dance and move all the time. I didn't feel it much for a long time and now all of a sudden she's just buzzing around in there, and I can see my stomach moving when she does. I love it and am starting to let myself get more and more excited about her arrival. The pink collection is growing!(and I'm really not only buying pink, but it's certainly a predominant color in her little growing wardrobe). I'm still feeling good, and no swelling, although a little more tired lately. I got to sleep in both mornings this weekend, so that helped.

Overall, a nice weekend. Had some friends over for dinner yesterday, a little shopping today with PB for new court shoes for tennis, brunch, church, soccer--all the things suburban families do on weekends. On the shoe front--he was wearing a size 9 and we had to buy him an 11 1/2--yikes his poor little toes were probably really cramped in there! Oops, maybe his game will improve now that his feet aren't being bound and tortured!

I bought something pink today!

I was going to wait longer, but I just couldn't, and so today, I finally, bought something pink for our little baby. I can't believe I've been able to wait so long, AND I can't believe I ONLY bought one thing when I did. But it's hard--harder than I thought it would be. I'm sooo picky it's not even funny and put great care into every item of clothing I purchase--for PB, for me, OK, not really for my husband--just sorta effort there, becasue he's really easy and doesn't like me to be too creative.

I've loved dressing PB (still do), I look back at his pictures and remember where each outfit is from, when I bought it, etc. And with a girl the pressure feels even greater ... not because I think clothes are that important in the scheme of things, but they are my thing so to speak. I love them, always have ... and the the little girl options--ohhhhh. But I have a lot of rules about what I like and don't like, which I won't bore you here with, but one VERY important one (especially for grandparents and older relatives) there should be absolutely NO Disney chararcters ANYWHERE on clothing. Actually, I usually just tell them no animals in general (if we're lucky enough to have them ask) because while some can be cute, you have to know which ones are cute and which ones are just dreadful. So if they think I'm just an animal hater so be it.

Anway, the dress I bought today is adorable--it's a little printed Baby Lulu dress. I think it's for 9 months, which is a ways away, but I know I'll still like it at anytime. AND get this, it was only $9! That's right $9 at the Neiman Marcus Last Call!

Of course, I also went to about 20 children's stores and that was the ONLY thing I bought, so if it's going to take me that long for each piece--this poor girl is going to have a very limited wardrobe. But it will be a good one!

20 Weeks, So Far, So Good

We had our big 20-week appointment today, and it went wonderfully well. Everything looks great, she's measuring right on time, and my blood pressure is great. So, so far, so good. I can't believe we're only half way there, it seems like it's been forever, although I will be thankful for each week I get to grow this baby. So I will try not to complain as I grow huger and huger. I will, however, reserve the right to complain if these hurricanes blow away my house.

A topic everyone seems to want to discuss is baby names--the fun part. I was completely set on one name, and now I'm wavering. PB absolutely loves another name that we'd been tossing around, and it's so cute how he says it that I'm leaning that way now. I don't know. It's such pressure to come up with a good name. I'm open to suggestions, so if you have any brilliant ones, let me know. I'll tell you that I tend to like more traditional ones, and I don't like ones that sound like they're made up or trying too hard. But once we decide, we will keep it a secret until the end--something has to be a surprise. But I'll be happy to give you credit then.

PB started tennis lessons, and is having lots of fun with them. He smashes the ball so hard it's hilarious watching his little body just crush it ... now we just need to work on gettting it OVER the net.

And in other news, I waited almost two entire weeks before sending his preschool teacher an e-mail with a few questions. It's driving me crazy not walking him into his class and meeting the kids and chatting with parents and the teacher each day like we did at his old school. Here it's just all carline. But his teacher was super responsive and gave me great feedback, so I feel better now. And proud that I held out that long!

The Ticking is Getting Louder

On Thursday, I'll be 20 weeks pregnant--half way there for most pregnancies. So while that's a big milestone, it's also a scary one for me. That's about the earliest they say pre-E symptoms start (which is what I had with PB). So while I've been thinking this pregnancy has been going so differently/better than my last, maybe it really hasn't. See, I don't remember when all of that started with him. It felt like I was swollen forever, but six weeks feels like a long time and perhaps it was only six weeks that I was experiencing all those symptoms before I was hospitalized at 26 weeks (and he came via emergency c-section a week later). But I just don't remember. Yet another reason I kick myself for not keeping a journal--our at least a more frequent blog!

So far, no swelling. So far, I'm feeling good and my blood pressure is good, so I'm trying to focus on those. But the ticking in my head keeps getting louder and louder. And I want to just enjoy this pregnancy--I want to start on the nursery, I want to buy GIRL clothese, but my fear is holding me back. I really don't want to have to deal with all of those things if something should go horribly wrong again.

I'm asked all the time,"isn't it just a first time pregnancy disease?" or told "Oh your chances of getting it again are so low." but belive me, I've done my research and then some, and my odds of getting it again are between 30-60 percent--and frankly I don't like those odds at all. So now, it's just watch and wait and keep up with all of my doctors' appointments.

We had some friends over this afternoon for swimming and dinner. In addition to a boy PB's age, they have a little girl who's 1 1/2. While she's adorable and I love her, my lord she's a lot of work, and makes me realize just how much baby-proofing we have to do in this house. Pool fence, child locks, gates, not to mention buying ALL the baby gear that I just gave way earlier this year when we moved!!! Of course, that's how it happens. And if all goes well, then oh well, I'm happy to do it all again. And this time it can all be PINK!

Needless Worry

I'm not sure why I was so stressed about not being stressed enough this weekend--so far it's been great. Yesterday we went to Kennedy Space Center and had a great time--it's incredible there, so inspiring and amazing and PB loved. We then headed to Cocoa Beach and had some quite good, non-chain Mexican food (I just can't get enough!)and didn't get home until late. And the rest of the weekend is filed to the brim with friends coming over tomorrow and other random get togethers today. Soon I'll be wishing for the weekend again. Note to self: find a way to fit in some exercise tomorrow!

In other random news, I made a "rasberry buckle" today with fresh whipped cream for some guests, and it was really good! let me know if you want the recipe.

Too busy or bored

I swear I'm always one or the other--crazy, insane busy or bored out of my skull. How anyone with my job that consumes more hours than I can count in addition taking care of a husband, son and house, not to mention growing a baby, can ever be bored, I'm not sure. But sometimes I am. Or rather when I think about long spans of time without activities filling them, I start to panic.

This three-day weekend for example--sure we have a party to go to, sure we're probably go the inlaws and we may hit Kennedy Space Center, but that's it. And it's making me crazy trying to think of things we can DO. I hate idle time, and I'm sure it will fill quickly. But right now instead of being thrilled to have this three-day weekend to leisurely read, hang out by the pool, workout and get errands done, I'm instead lamenting the fact that I didn't plan a party here or plan a beach getaway or something. Tonight is taken care of; we're going to watch 21. It's been so long since I've watched a movie, becuase I'm always too busy. I know, I know ... but this sounds perfect for tonight, if only I could have a glass of wine while I watch.

swedish fish

are sitting like lead rocks in my stomach. The woman in front of me said "oh, get some swedish fish" to her daughter, and all of a sudden I HAD to have some. I haven't had any in probably five years, and I probably won't for another five--ugh! What's in those things?

So as you can see I'm fairly consumed by food lately. I had Chipoltle's for lunch, and it was soo good. I wish I could give the fish back.

My stomach is getting bigger and bigger, but luckily I haven't gained too much weight. I think seven pounds total, and since I'm 19 weeks, I'm calling that pretty good.

Yesterday was a crazy hectic day, and I was exhausted. Besides the fish, I'm feeling much better today--the miracles of good sleep!

PB is such a big boy off to his new school, and so cute in his little uniform! Dropoffs in the morning are hard and he cries--i think because it's the first time I can't walk him in--I just have to drop him off. But today was great, because we carpooled with the little girl across the streeet, and he just hopped out and ran off with her. So that's our magic ticket--we'll take her everyday she'll let us.

New Addiction

so i've been solely supporting the Chipolte's in my area with my pregnancy cravings. Seriously,I go there ALL THE TIME. spicy beef tacos are often the only thing that sounds good, and I eat them at least 5-6 times a week (hanging head in embarassment).

but today on a whim I picked up two of little single serving cheese enchilada meals at Whole Foods--they're the Whole Kitchen brand. OMG,I'm in love. I ate both boxes I bought just for dinner. I'm definitely going to have to go back tomorrow. They are organic after all. I swear this baby--did I mention it's a girl?--is going to come out demanding Mexican food, and it sucks becuase there is a SERIOUS lack of decent Mexican food in this area!

More on my pregnancy Redhead momma soon I promise!

weekend

We've been super busy lately, so this weekend we made no real plans. After sleeping in Saturday morning, I got the idea that we really should head down to Epcot. It was an expensive decision ($200 for the three of us, even with a Florida discount) but one I thought would be worth it. Turns out not so much.

Lots of rain, waiting in line for 40 minutes for the Test Track, only to be next and then have the skies open up and ruin our chances of riding. Getting up to the space ride (PB is obsessed with space and was so excited for that one) only to find out he had to be 44 inches tall (he's only 42 inches, which is what MOST of the rides require) and the restaurant in Mexico we REALLY wanted to eat at--not a chance, as we didn't think to make reservations (stupid I know). And did I mention the rain, on and off all day, making for a soggy day. On the positive side, we didn't have to deal with the heat. Oh well, it was an adventure...albeit an expensive one.

Today was church, errands and some work. Speaking of which I need to get back to it!

Is anyone still out there?

talk about blog lags. a LOT has happened since my last post.

I took a freelance job that i LOVE, but is consuming every single free minute I get.

That plus, I'm PREGNANT!!

I'm so jealous of all these mommy bloggers and keep kicking myself for not keeping up with my own, so here I go again.

I certainly have tons to write about. If anyone is still out there, I promise I'll try to be more regular!

Just so you know

Jumping up and down with a 12-pound medicine ball above your head--even for 40-second bursts--will cause IMMENSE pain the following day. Pain, as in asking your 4-year-old to just keep hitting your back (and legs because of the lunges--many, many lunges) as hard as he can with his fist, because it feels sort of good--like a little massage...or at least makes you forget temporarily about another part of your body that's throbbing.

I did a boot camp yesterday that has left me a hobbling mess today.

But that's okay...I think. It was a good class that ended in team relay races--complete with you sitting in line once you were done with your five laps. I felt like i was back in grade school P.E., but it was fun.

Besides my moaning and growning with each of my movements, today was a good day with a playdate, then some swimming, pizza night and catching up on some Tivo. Looking forward to a good weekend and hope you all have one too!

It's Official

I'm officially a soccer mom.

Practice starts Sunday. Today we bought PB little cleats, shin guards, socks (UGLY socks that go OVER the shin guards--Wes, can that be right?) and a ball. His first game is next Friday. We'll see how it goes.

I come from an incredibly athletic family, so I'm hoping that PB gets some of that talent that skipped me--so far he's been much more interested in books than balls, but we'll see. I think sports are great for kids (and adults!) so I hope he finds at least one that likes and sticks with.

I will state for the record, that I will not be driving to his soccer games in a mini van...okay, it's a station wagon, not much better I know. (Actually, I have no problem with mini vans--besides the gas they guzzle--if it makes life easier then who cares. I'm not a car person anyway.) but I don't have a mom hair cut! Unless you're talking about the moms on Desperate Housewives...

I had a much needed "me" day today and feel recharged. My me day consisted of me going to the mall and walking around, browsing, trying on clothes, perfumes and makeup. Then for lunch--a big old cup of Hagan Dazs yogurt while I sat on a bench, peacefully relaxing and people watching.

Then THUD! Some stupid lady comes and sits down right next to me. It wasn't a big bench and my bags and I were taking up two-thirds of it. There were plenty of other places to sit. SHE DID NOT NEED TO SIT ON MY BENCH. But she did, and in an angry huff, I stood and walked away. Mature, I know. But still.......

Checking In

I'm not even going to apologize for being a bad blogger, because unfortunately I think that's the way it's going to be for awhile. I've been spending every free moment on my freelance work, which is fun, but never ending!

I have been keeping up with my runnning pretty well. I broke my six-mile barrier finally and ran a little over 8 miles on Sunday (I thought it was nine, but rechecked in my car and it was a little short). But still that's big for me--the longest I've run in years. And I felt so, so great doing it. The weather was gorgeous and I felt great the entire way--except for a horrible toe cramp that I just stopped briefly to massage out--i've got to stop clenching my toes!

I took yesterday off then set out for an easy four miles today, which were not easy at all! i felt like i was going to throw up, everything hurt, etc., etc. I got it done, but it wasn't fun. So who knows? I'm going to join a marathon training program that starts in late spring, so i'll get more systematic about it, but I feel pretty good about my start back into running after a too-long hiatus!

Had a fun playdate today with some of PB's classmates. Was great until he went flying off of his big wheel and got a HUGE egg on his head. The first thing he told me through his hysterical tears was "that's why I needed my helmet!" Of course I had forgotten to bring his helmet to his friend's house, and told him he would be fine without it. Great parenting moment right there.

That's about it for now. Sorry I've been horrible about commenting on all of your blogs too. I'll try to be better!

At Last

It seems like ages that I've been waiting to write this post. I've imagined the excitement and what I would say so many, many times since last June. And yet, here I am about to do it, and it's just not what I imagined.

We got an offer on our house--FINALLY! It's a decent offer based on the current price of our house, but it's so far from where we started, it's depressing. All the plans, things that were supposed to be, have to be altered significantly. I can't stop thinking how different things would be if we had priced it differently in the beginning, but I know should, woulda, coulda isn't going to do anyone any good.

It's also not a full purchase offer--it's a rent until they sell their house in California offer. So it doesn't feel final, because we can't close here until they close there, etc., etc. But financially it will be a very large bandaid to stop some our financial bleeding.

So I am thankful, because really it could have kept going and going and gotten us to a worse situation. And I know there are ohters out there who are and will have to go through worse. So yes, I'm grateful, just not quite as excited as I had hoped to be.

In other news, sorry I've been such a bad blogger. I've been swamped with my new freelance job and a crazy amount of birthday parties--six in about eight days. I will try to be better!

Update

So I'm a bad blogger lately I know, but I've been very busy with my new job! It's a lot of work, but very fun work. So I feel a little bit more like myself again with this to concentrate on. Of course my running has also suffered a bit. But I got in one good run this week and have plans for a long one tomorrow and sunday.

In other news, we've been waiting for two weeks to see if PB got into the fancy school--you know the one with the elaborate wedding to marry Q&U? Well, his good friend who also "auditioned" got a call earlier this week saying he was wait listed, they thought he was too distracted, etc. My son is the king of distraction so I figured our fate would be theirs or worse (total rejection).

Two full days after they got the call we had nothing.

Then today I went out to get the mail, and there it was--the FAT ENVVELOPE. woo hoo, he got in.

As happy as we were--because it really is a great school and I think will be a great place for PB--believe me I do realize the complete and utter absurdity of this whole process--my emotions included--when HE'S ONLY GOING INTO PRESCHOOL!

Moving on. Wednesday night I hosted a party at my friend's boutique. I was a little worried no one would show, but they did. And it was fun and people bought stuff and it made me feel really settled here--like hey, i've made some friends. So that was nice.

Tomorrow my husband's parents are coming for the day to celebrate his mom's bday. We're having lunch here then going out to dinner. I'm running between the two so I can eat birthday cake! I did not make the cake from scratch, I bought it at the bakery. And I didn't spend all day nad night planning a fancy lunch menu and cooking the items on it. And for that, I'm incredibly proud (and amazed!) at myself! I think the sunshine might be moving my needle from A to B on the personality type scale.

Have a great weekend!

Still here

I'm still here. My mom is visiting, and we've been in constant motion.

Shopping, playing with PB, visiting the in-laws, eating--eating way too much. All I want to do is run and run and run for the next couple of days and get my body back to the way it felt a few weeks ago..and then some. The weather has been amazing though, and we've had lots of fun.

I hate to put this out there, becaue I'm sure once again I'll be disappointed, but we have a really good-looking set of buyers for our Seattle house. I have such a good feeling about them. We'll see. We also had one a week ago, but they went another way. I didn't, however, have such a good feeling about them. I keep thinking I'm going to delete this so I don't jinx things, but that's silly, and I know you'll all send me postiive energy, which is stronger than a jinx anyway.

Doing a new freelance gig that is keeping me very busy, but I'm really liking it a lot! It's really great work, but unfortunately not great pay. Could lead into more though, and since I love it, I'm burning that proverbial midnight candle doing it.

The freakin' cookbook is almost out the door. I can't wait to get to get it out of my house and thoughts...for a few weeks...until the edits come back.

That's it--my schizo post for today. Just checking in to do so. Will try to update with something more interesting soon--like the sale of my house (please, please, please)!

hi

i've been a bad blogger I know. As I've said before, I hate blog lags, so sorry I'm regularly providing them. I've just been busy--with new freelance work, the f'ing cookbook committee, shoping and lunch with a new friend today, new school tours, cleaning my house for my mom's arrival tomorrow, etc., etc. etc. But it's all good...mostly.

Another family got "this" close to buying our house, and now looks like they're not going to go forward. These ups and downs are killing me. And every month, when I have to write out two mortgage checks, I get really depressed. And since it's almost the 1st...you can guess how I'm feeling.

But it's a little tempered, because I know it could be much, much worse. I found out that a friend of mine from Seattle has breast cancer. She just found out. She's a wonderful woman with four children. I used to work with her at a nonprofit when I first moved to the area, and she taught me how to quilt. She's strong, blunt, funny and spiritual; and I think and pray that those things serve her well as she battles this disease.

Finding out about her illness has left me particularly pensive. But at the same time unable to express my emotions very well. My thoughts, however, just won't stop.

So anyway, my mom gets here tomorrow evening, and we're all looking forward to that. She hasn't seen our new house; and PB is just in a great, great place right now. (Okay total aside--he's a HUGE sleeptalker/sleepsinger, etc. For the past week or so, every night he starts counting in his sleep. I'll go up there thinking he's awake, but he's totally asleep. so weird!) My husband and i may even get to go out on a date all by ourself. I seriously can NOT remember the last time that happened. It would be a very nice treat.

So anyway, that's about it. I got in great running over th weekend, and then have done no excercise the rest of the week. I'm hoping tomorrow I might get in at least a quick 3 miler. We'll see.

Testing, Testing

So today Pb had to audition, get tested, evaluated, call it what you will, for a preschool we may want to send him to. I swear I never, ever thought I'd be the mom taking my child to something like this at such a young age. But things change, and I learned long ago to never say never.

Things are different here in Florida--public schools aren't as good for the most part, and we love this school from what we've seen. But we've also heard it's pretty competitive to get in. So we'll see. I've been trying to drill PB all day without appearing to drill him about what went on, what they asked him, etc.

I'm getting very little in the way of answers. Just little snippets like, "I told them my name and they said that was a very beautiful name." Or "I counted to 40 and then stopped." I tried to find out why he stopped there--did he tell him he couldn't go any higher (he can) or did they ask him to stop-- but then he clams up and won't tell me.

Who knows? When we went to pick him up, they said he did "great," which is what I think they said to all the parents--meaning great, having fun, etc. No feedback at all on the rest.

I think he got some bonus points for sociability though because right when we were leaving, in front of a couple of the big administrators, this little girl yelled to PB and opened up her arms to him. He ran into them and hugged her. It was so cute, and there were lots of ooos and ahs. This was especially nice to see as he's been on a big boys-are-the-best kick. Our conversation yesterday went something like this:

PB: mommy I wish you were a boy
Me: Why?
PB: Because boys are better.

Anyway, the hug was good. Hope they wrote that down. So now we wait and within two weeks we should know that either a) we're in; b) we're on the wait list; or c) that we're not getting in. Really, whatever the outcome is is fine with us. There are plenty of other options. But if our outcome is C I sure hope they tell us what they base it on, because man am I dying to know what went on today!!!

More probing tomorrow. Perhaps a day later he'll cough up more.

Bowling

Today PB and I met a friend of his for a some bowling. It was the fist time he's ever bowled, and it was really fun. The ball was pretty heavy for him, and since when I tried to help him, I made him fall backward onto his head, they got out some help.

They had this crazy metal ramp thing that he could put the ball on, and then push it down. If you have spent much time in bowling alleys, perhaps you've seen one? And there were these bars in the gutters, so no gutter balls. At least not for him...

Me on the other hand, lot of gutters. I'm I'm horrible and didn't break 80, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless. And I'm thinking perhaps it counts as a workout?

I hope so, because not only did I have pizza at the bowling alley, a I also had pizza for dinner. I'm such a peer pressure eater. My neighbor and her two sons came over in the afternoon. We ended up having a glass of vino while the boys played and soon realized it was passing dinnertime. Since my husband had a working dinner and hers was out of town, we called for pizza and fed the kids and ourselves. So I probably need to do another workout tomorrow--perhaps something a little more strenuous than bowling. But I'm thinking I may be sore from the bowling tomorrow!

For the Record

I rarely edit, proof or even spellcheck my blog.

I like it that way, even though I'm a total grammar and punctuation freak.( I once lobbyed a grocery store for weeks to put up an apostrophe in their HUGE sign that read, "Its (sic) Our Pleasure to Serve You." And they finally did! )

But here at my pad in the blogosphere, I come, I let my thoughts flow and dont worry much about mispelings; or bad punctuation or run on sentences, or too, many, commas, that leave people wanting to catch their breath or something like that.

So while I stated that this would be my rules (or lacktherof) when I started this blog, I haven't mentioned it in awhile. So some of you might just think I'm ignorant and want to scream as you read my imperfect prose. But rest assured I'm not stupid, just lazy...when I'm here in this little corner of my life.

Remind Me

If I ever want to be the chair of a committee again, please tell me to run.

Remind me just how much work it was to chair the preschool cookbook committee.

Next time I'll just be "on" the committee. I don't need to be in charge (keep repeating to self).

Back to the book...

dilemma

I'm in the middle of such a cliche woman's situation it's not even funny. I got a great job offer, but I don't want to leave my son, not for a full-time, in-the-office job. Should I be able to do it part-time, telecommute, work part-time or have an extremely flexible schedule? Absolutely. could i do an incredible job that way? No question. Will they let me? It's doubtful. And it makes me mad--not just about this particular situation, but the situation for women everywhere.


Businesses really should take advantage of all the very talented, brain-bored mothers out there who would love to work in some capacity. I talk to them all the time--women who had amazing careers, and would love to work a little, but can't do a traditional 40-hour job in an office. If businesses were just a bit more flexible they would get such great product, input, work and dedication. but they're scared to break the mold. Good Lord, what would it do to their head count.


I've been lucky doing freelance for a number of years; and more has and will continue to come my way. But I should be able to do more. And I would do so much more. Pay me for 20 hours, you surely will get 30 or more in return. Because I'm hungry, and frankly, I'm good at what I do. I want to work, but I don't need to do it from 9-5 in a cubicle to produce results. My brain needs some stimulation. My mortgages (PLURAL) need paying.


But most of all I love my son, and I think now he needs me. He's not going to need me as much in coming years. And in coming years, my windows for work will open wider and wider. But for now, I'm keeping them shut a bit. And it's my choice. But the whole thing still makes me angry.


I will go into more detail later. But for now I just need to vent.

Back

After about a week's hiatus due to my injury and then my sister's visit, I finally ran again today. Six miles in very brisk, but sunny weather. After about three miles, one of my toes was in pain, so I quickly took off my shoe to see what was going on--it was being cut by the toenail of my little toe. So I ripped the offending nail off and proceeded on my run pain free. I've got to break through this six mile limit I've somehow set and find a new, longer route. I'm also renewing my efforts to look for some local races. I think I a 10k will be next for me.

Of course today's run will do little to counter all the crappy food I ate at the theme parks. Seriously--did you know that one of those mickey ice creams on a stick have 330 calories and 22 grams of fat?! That's just gross. And really, not so worth it. I don't even want to know that stats on the pizza, chicken fingers, etc. Blah.

Last night I saw a movie for the first time in eons. We went to "Juno". I wanted to love it and to cry and be moved. It was good, and I liked it. But it didn't make me cry. And really, all that Gilmore-Girl-like bantering just doesn't do a lot for me. But there was a lot I liked about it too, so overall I'd give it a thumb's up.

That's about it. I'm exhausted from the long week and lack of sleep. We're sad my sister left--especially PB who utterly and totally adores her. But really looking forward to tomorrow because my husband has the day off for MLK day. woo hoo!

Checking In

This week is whizzing by wonderfully (I love alliteration!).
I can't believe my sister actually got out of Boston they day she, but she did. And on time too.
We've been having a great time. My husband is out of town, so all the movies I wanted to see won't happen as we have PB, but we're having fun nonetheless. And American Idol started last night--hooray.

We've been shopping, cooking, eating. And PB is in heaven. He adores his aunt and wants her up the instant he gets up. Today he told her she should get up when the sun does. Since she just finished law school finals I'm trying to keep him away for a few minutes at least.

The one who's really missing sleep is me. I'm a bit spoiled as my husband usually gets up every morning with PB, feeds him breakfast and gets him dressed for school while I sleep in and get ready leisurely. With him out of town, it's all me. I miss him so much!

Friday we're going to hit a Disney park, not sure which one yet. And Saturday, we're going to Universal. So lots of fun. I'm trying to catch up on reading blogs when I can, and thought I'd do a check in here.

I'm hoping to get in a decent run this afternoon while PB and his aunt play, but it's looking like rain. We'll see.

More when I can. Hope you're all having a great week!

Weekend Wrap

it was a good weekend. a weekend with virtually no stress, no major plans, just kind of a gentle unfolding. and those are good.

my hair turned out fine. actually it turned out great when I left the salon. But when I tried to do it today, not so much. And I know that's a common thing for women, but it's not for me. Usually it's exactly the opposite. They do it, and I know I'll style it better. So I'm not sure what that means, but today my hair looked like crap--no matter what I do. I don't look like myself at all. It's weird. She took a ton off, I have bangs, it's really choppy. I think in two or three weeks I'll love it. for now I'm not sure. I think I'll go back to her again, but I'm not 100 percent. But since we moved this was definitely the overall best salon experience.

Today was the big private school tour. It's a great school, and PB behaved very well (It could be the bribe of a new train we promised, but who knows...). I think it would be good for PB, and PB would love it. It's a great mix of academics and personal development--everything from manners classes, swiming, Spanish lessons and fencing options to a huge preschool formal event--the lakeside wedding of the letters "Q" and "U" complete with a catered reception. I'm serious.

I've heard so many opinions of this school--very well known in this area--both good and bad. But as someone recently told me, "everyone who goes there loves it; and everyone else badmouths it." And I get that. I have a really good feeling based on today, the tour I had and the experiences of some people I know who go there. And I have to go on my gut feelings. I don't know yet if it's the best solution for our family, but it's definitely a wonderful one. We go back in two weeks for his "assessment". We'll see how that goes. Depending on his mood that day, it may not even be an option :)

My sister is supposed to arrive tomorrow and is staying for a week. We're hoping the forecasted blizzard is Boston won't postpone her trip! We're excited to show her our new home and some of the Disney resorts. PB, of course, thinks she is coming to be his full-time playmate.

Here's to a good week, and an offer coming in on our house!

Happy Friday

This week has flown by. I worked three mornings at my friend's boutique and had a follow up job interview the other day. This morning we had one of PB's friends from preschool over for a play date. It was really nice chatting with his mom; and the boys had so much fun together. Then this afternoon I stepped outside to get the mail, saw a neighbor who invited PB and I over for a happy hour play date, complete with a bottle of chardonnay and a couple of other neighbors. I'm telling you, we picked the perfect neighborhood. They're all really nice and fun and had tons of great information about all the schools around here, etc.

Tomorrow I'm having a me day. When I was working, I had them almost every week because I needed them. I had PB all day, then worked most of the night writing. Since we've moved and I've just had PB to focus on--and he's in school the majority of the day--I've had tons of me days. So I've forfeited my weekend ones.

But I've picked up more work and gradually life is getting back to a hectic pace. So I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My husband is taking PB to his parents' house where they will spend the day and come back right before bedtime. I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted--it's so far overdue it's pathetic. Remember when I went back to Seattle to pack up our house? Yeah, well it was before that! So I'll do that, perhaps pretend shop a little bit, go to the gym and maybe even see a movie. We'll see.

On Sunday we have an open house for a private school we're considering for PB. I'm predicting that day will be full of stories.

Have a great weekend!

A Different Type of Trip

It started out as a nice morning. I had an appointment first thing in the morning, then headed home to get in a run in the glorious weather. I got dressed, grabbed by ipod and headed out. Around about 1.5 miles I tripped over something (perhaps just my own feet) and went flying.

The palms of my hands were burning, my knee bloody and throbbing, and then there was my ankle--a nice, dull ache. I surveyed the damage, managed to get up, and after I walked about half a mile, I figured I was good to continue running home. I still felt fine when I got home, so I ran around my neighborhood for another mile or so. I think that was my mistake.

After my shower, I was limping. When I went to pick up PB from preschool, I could barely hobble. My ankle is now throbbing. It's not swollen, and I can move it, so I'm taking those as good signs. But Lord it hurts! What really makes me mad is that I had a long run planned for tomorrow, and now I wont' be able to do it. Ugh.

So now I have the remaining scars from my golf cart accident ; a huge scrape from a deck I fell off in Telluride; and a knee that is red, bloody and scabby. I could compete with any 8-year-old boy for the most banged-up looking legs. And to make it worse, I can't shave over all the scabs, so there are patches that have hair spurting from amidst the scabs. See I would beat those 8-year-old boys actually.

I'm telling you me in a skirt or a dress is a pretty sight these days.

So anyway, I'm hoping that my ankle will just get better. I really don't want to go to the doctor. I'm going to see what happens over night. Hopefully a miraculous recovery!

nothing to say

I really don' t have much to say. But I feel I should say something, because I pledged long ago that if I was going to have a blog, I would not have blog lags. I hate blog lags. But now I understand them better.

Sometimes I have a zillion things I want to say and write about and regret that I don't have the time to. Other times I have all the time in the world, but I can't commit to one topic. Too often I get into the habit of just treating this like my daily diary, but that's not all that conducive to improving my writing or even keeping it sharp. And I'm sure it's not highly entertaining to read. But it's therapeutic, so that counts for something.

And I guess I could really use some therapy today. Every aspect of my life is really quite great,. I sailed through most of the day so happy--i worked at my friend's boutique, which I love doing; saw all our preschool friends with our first day back to school; got a couple of late Christmas gifts in the mail; had a playdate with a new neighbhor and thier 4 year old son. All good. Except the fact that our Seattle-area house STILL sits on the market. And it's 2008.

Two sets of bills, two mortgages, two sets of home improvement costs; two things that are very difficult to afford on one income. And I shouldn't complain, because we are able to do it. We're draining our savings in the process, but I know I should feel very fortunate that we can do it. Because as I posted yesterday, there are many people worse off. And I could still be sitting my ass in an apartment with plates that spark in a microwave. So yes, I'm thankful too.

But for me, money is security. I grew up without a lot of it. And I like to have much more than that. I don't like chipping away at that security net. And month after month our net is getting smaller. And I hate it. It makes me nervous. It makes me obsessive. And I shouldn't be. We're fine. But we worked hard to have some security, and it's going to take so long to build it back up.

So while I do my best to count our blessings, and I do, I really do; at the end of the day I can't get this huge white elephant out of my mind--out of my life. We've been patient. We've believed everyting happens for a reason. We've said our prayers. We've been pretty damn (I mean darn) good people. It's our turn. This house has GOT to sell. We're dropping price again this week. It's depressing. But if it sells our house, then so be it. I'm ready to move on with our lives.

So see, this post is nothing you haven't read about from me a zillion times. But at least it's not a lag, right? And I feel a little bit better.

Conversation at the Park

Me: PB be careful, don't get too close to that girl or you will push her off that wall.

Girl: Yeah, be careful. We don't have any health insurance.

If ever there was a political commercial to be made, there you go. She couldn't have been more than 7.

update

I feel like i have both so much and so little to say.
PB has been out of school all week, and since we returned from our trip we've had three days with pretty much no schedule. While at first I feared all these empty days and thought I'd go about scheduling them, I didn't. I just kind of let them unravel.
And after the crazy past few weeks I've had, it was a nice way to go.
We've gone to Costco a couple of times (have I blogged yet about my newfound love for this place? if not, remind me and I will). We've played games, he's played by himself, we've played with neighbors, we've watched videos and just hung out.
Yesterday, I called my husband right about noon and asked what he was doing for lunch. he said "nothing" so I suggested he come home for lunch so i could go for a quick run. In exchange for a homemade grilled cheese lunch, he did.
It was the first time in a week I'd run, and it was actually great. Only about 3 miles, but nice and got me hungry for more.
Then today, we had two families coming over for dinner and some big football game around 4 p.m. I had a bunch of food to cook, but in my typical Type-A way, I realized I was way ahead of schedule. So in very un-typical-for-me mode, I decided to put the cleaning and cooking on hold and instead go for another run in the gorgeous 70-ish weather. I thought I'd just do three, but instead, I got in 6 really good miles today. Besides the blisters on my feet that were sprouting ( I think I need new running socks) it was a great run.
And even with the break, tonight's dinner still turned out great. I swear Florida is really relaxing me! I made some new recipes, including an olive bread that was out of this world courtesy of http://carrisablog.com/carrisa/--and I don't even like olives. (Let me know if you do, and I'll pass along the recipe or you can look it up on her site.) I also made one of my favorite, old pasta recipes and a great sausage and peppers dish. That plus wine and mixed drinks, a Cesar salad, some homemade caramelized onion dip and another great appetizer with bacon, cream cheese, etc. and we had a great meal. Another family brought cookies and ice cream, and we were, and are, all full.
Not much is on the docket for tomorrow. Just a few errands and a lot of rest. Not sure my legs are going to be up for another run, but you never know.
Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Crazy Trip--part two

I should first say that once we got to Telluride, we had a fabulous time. We hung out with my husband's brother and his family. They are wonderful, generous hosts and have a gorgeous place there with gorgeous views of the mountains out every window. They have four children who PB adores and spent ever single second he could with.

It was cold, but wonderfully relaxing. I slept in and read a lot--I got through "The Tattooed Girl" by Joyce Carol Oates, which I loved. Of course, I always love her. And almost finished with "A Fine Balance" by Rohinton Mistry. It's great too. Different than books I typically like, but really well done.

On the second night we were there we went to a restaurant, and who do I see sitting at a table less than 20 feet from me?

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Suri and a bunch of their family!!! I was so starstruck! I positioned myself so I could watch them throughout the whole meal. Of course, when I tried to take a picture in the lobby as they were leaving, I was told I would be asked to leave if I did so. Why I didn't just leave and catch them as they were doing so, I'm not sure. My husband caught a couple on his cell phone (no flash), but they're not that good. Oh well, it made my trip.

Then no sooner had we arrived, was it time to leave. We got to the Telluride airport in plenty of time. They were concerned that if there was any delay we wouldn't make our connection in Denver, so they booked us on a backup flight. We were feeling really good about our return home.

THEN, we got on the plane. It was, without a doubt, the worst, scariest, most horrifying thing I've ever done (with the exception of PB's extremely premature birth). Now, I knew it was going to be bumpy going out over those mountains, but this was more like being shaken angrily by a huge monster holding the plane in his hand.

And not only was it bumpy, but alarms started going off--TWICE. why? no clue. There were only 12 of us on this little prop plane, no airline attendants, just us and alarms and bumps. The boy behind me threw up, I was screaming and crying. I really thought we might die.

Thank God PB slept through the whole thing, because I would have freaked him out as he was across the aisle from me. How he slept through the whole thing I have NO idea. But so glad he did.

We finally landed, and I was a mess emotionally, still crying, could barely walk. I knew we missed our original flight, but figured that was for the best as I needed some time (and wine!) to prepare for the final leg of our journey back to Orlando.

Well, I got plenty of time. Remember how they booked us on a backup flight? Yeah, well when we got there, they had NO record of our reservation. That's right, for the THIRD time on this trip Great Lakes lost our reservation. How that's possible, I have no idea.

The only option was to sit at the airport for eight hours then take a red eye. We were so tired at that point that we just gave up. We found a nearby Embassy Suites, made sure we were there in time for the free happy hour, and added another day to the already marathon trip.

We finally got home around 6 p.m. last night.

I can say without a doubt that this trip was unforgettable. And I have no desire to get on a plane anytime soon.